{"id":63130,"date":"2026-07-10T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-07-10T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.omnesmag.com\/?p=63130"},"modified":"2026-07-10T10:51:50","modified_gmt":"2026-07-10T08:51:50","slug":"leigh-fitzpatrick-snead-marriages-children-infertility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.omnesmag.com\/en\/foco\/leigh-fitzpatrick-snead-matrimonios-hijos-infertilidad\/","title":{"rendered":"Leigh Fitzpatrick Snead: \u201cMarried couples are called to bear fruit beyond having children\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few months ago, Leigh Fitzpatrick Snead published the book \u201cInfertile but fruitful<\/a>\u201d. She has been traveling across the United States for years, speaking about marriage, family, and the Catholic Church. With her new book, she seeks to shed light on the reality of many married couples who are unable to have children<\/a>, the challenges they face, and the support provided by the Church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this interview, she talks with Omnes about how these married couples can discover that they are still called to bear fruit in their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a world where some married couples have empty cribs and are unable to have children, you say that they can bear fruit. How do these childless couples discover that spiritual fruitfulness in their daily lives?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 It\u2019s very difficult to achieve. Although it\u2019s very easy to say, you have to bring that suffering to the foot of the Cross; you have to transform it and see that there\u2019s something more to that pain. In those moments of revelation, you realize that we\u2019re called to be fruitful and that there are other fruits besides babies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I think it's very, very hard when you're in a happy marriage and you're looking at that empty crib. It's very hard to understand why it's not happening, to step back from it all and realize this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lot of the time, you don't realize it because, unlike suffering from cancer or another illness that causes pain and discomfort, infertility often doesn't physically hurt, so you don't feel sick\u2014you just feel like something isn't happening. I think we're always quick to equate suffering with pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our bodies are designed for babies; we are called to the vocation of motherhood or fatherhood. And all the beautiful things that come with this actually create barriers that prevent us from realizing that there are other fruits of marriage beyond having a baby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The way to discover this different kind of fruitfulness is to stay connected. We learn from the communion of saints that sometimes you just have to persevere and not turn your back, knowing that Jesus has not turned His back on you. And perhaps you won\u2019t see or know the fruits, or maybe the fruit doesn\u2019t have to be a goal in itself. I think you\u2019ll be able to see what fruits you bear later on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As long as you remain faithful to Jesus, to your spouse, to your vocation to marriage, and are open to life and parenthood, I think\u2014well, it\u2019s a promise, isn\u2019t it? It\u2019s the good news that everything is going to be all right. It\u2019s very difficult, and I never want to say, \u00abJust do this\u2014it\u2019s so easy,\u00bb because I\u2019ve been there and I know it\u2019s really hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often, when infertility occurs, we assume it\u2019s the woman\u2019s fault. How can married couples have open conversations? How can they communicate and address the problem together, without placing the blame on one or the other?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 I think that\u2019s very difficult, and there\u2019s a reason why there\u2019s a relatively high divorce rate among those who suffer from infertility. As Catholics, you often don\u2019t discover these problems until you\u2019re married, so it\u2019s only once you\u2019re together that they come to light. And given the way our Church teaches us about marriage, love, sexuality, and bringing children into the world, it can\u2019t be viewed any other way than as a problem for \u00abus.\u00bb Because it doesn\u2019t matter if she were with another man or he were with another woman and they could have a baby; it is this specific marriage that has an infertility problem. Thinking about their own little ecosystem and the union of \u201cone flesh\u201d means that this is something they must face together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the reality is that they\u2019re going to receive medical diagnoses and lab results, and they\u2019ll find out if there\u2019s something wrong with one person, the other, or both. And even though it\u2019s obviously still a shared problem, you\u2019re the one with the low sperm count, the defective ovary, or whatever it may be, and you\u2019re going to feel guilty and start having dark thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s essential to remember from the start that you\u2019re in this together as a married couple. It\u2019s easy to avoid conversations in the hope that you\u2019ll go to the doctor and they\u2019ll simply give you a pill and fix the problem, but that doesn\u2019t happen. So, as usual, the cure for many problems is simply to keep talking about it. I believe that our Church\u2019s teachings are designed to provide that kind of support for couples, because it\u2019s a problem for both of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Speaking of the Church\u2019s teachings, how can a Catholic couple maintain this balance between their legitimate desire to have children and remaining faithful to the Church\u2019s teaching against resorting to in vitro fertilization and other modern assisted reproductive technologies?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 That\u2019s really the hard part right now for most people, because IVF is very common and is marketed as a product that seems guaranteed to work. It\u2019s very tempting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my book, I recount how my husband and I went to see a doctor who performed IVF, thinking, \u00abOh, but we\u2019re not going to do that.\u00bb However, it was like setting a place at your dinner table for the devil: \u00abI didn\u2019t invite you, but I set a place for you, and we\u2019re ready.\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think it really helps to receive solid Catholic medical care\u2014from someone who treats you as a Catholic couple or at least respects those wishes\u2014and to be able to see a fertility specialist who doesn\u2019t perform IVF. Those are ways to protect yourself, because it\u2019s going to be tempting; by the time you reach that stage, you\u2019ve been trying for a long time, you\u2019re sad, and you just want a baby\u2014and that\u2019s what they promise you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if you recall the reasons why we save sex for marriage, why we use natural family planning or restorative reproductive medicine, I think what we value about those things should also remind us why we don\u2019t turn to IVF. It deliberately separates the procreative aspect from the unitive aspect, inviting many other people into the most private act, in addition to bringing all sorts of other problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the major objections used to be the number of embryos implanted and selective reduction abortions; and although clinics now apparently have much better embryo screening techniques (which is also terrible) and only transfer one or two embryos, the horror of IVF still exists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, you need to surround yourself with your family; perhaps your family is Catholic but has never thought about infertility or IVF, and they may not know about it. They need to know why you\u2019re going through this and why you\u2019re not doing it, so they can support you, since you\u2019re on edge and at your most vulnerable. It\u2019s very easy to lose hope, and statistically speaking, there are many people in the church pews who have turned to IVF.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do you think is the biggest disconnect today between the community around us, the Church, and the priests when they speak with Catholic couples who cannot have children?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u2013 That was one of the reasons I wrote the book\u2014not just for other women or couples like me, but also for priests and seminarians, so they could get a little glimpse of what this is really like. I tried to be truly honest without exaggerating, sharing details about what you\u2019re up against.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Priests need to understand that earthly aspect of life; if you invite them over for dinner, they get a sense of what life is like with children, but obviously they don\u2019t have as many opportunities to understand what life is like with infertility. I hope the book helps them. I think they need it, and young priests are making an effort to learn about these kinds of things, especially if they\u2019re keeping up with current events, because IVF is in the news all the time and it\u2019s hard to ignore. As long as they\u2019re willing to learn and keep an open mind, I think that will help a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But again, it\u2019s such a private issue that, even if there\u2019s a support group and kind priests, it\u2019s very easy to isolate yourself. That\u2019s also why I think it\u2019s easier to learn about the subject by reading, in private, a book by someone you may not know. Some of my favorite letters are from strangers who tell me, \u00abI was so ashamed to feel these things\u2014to feel jealous of other women\u2014or I didn\u2019t know anyone else felt this way; I did, too.\u00bb It\u2019s much easier to find that on a page, process it a bit, and then maybe want to talk to your sister, your mother, your close friend, or your priest. And then your priest might say, \u00abOh, I have an idea what that\u2019s like\u2014tell me more,\u00bb and be able to ask the right questions to understand the full complexity of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think there should be a greater effort to help people simply learn the vocabulary and know what\u2019s sensitive and insensitive to say. People always have good intentions, but you can put your foot in your mouth at any moment while trying to be kind. The topic of pregnancy and related issues is very sensitive, because you don\u2019t know who\u2019s going through a hard time. When I started writing about infertility, I found out that people I never would have imagined were suffering from it. I used to think they were just women focused on their careers or whatever, and then they\u2019d confide in me that they\u2019d been trying for six years and nobody knew. It\u2019s a very taboo subject.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Leigh Fitzpatrick Snead public\u00f3 hace unos meses el libro \u201cInfertile but fruitful\u201d (Inf\u00e9rtiles pero dando fruto, en ingl\u00e9s). Lleva a\u00f1os recorriendo Estados Unidos hablando sobre el matrimonio, la familia y la Iglesia cat\u00f3lica. Con su nuevo libro trata de mostrar la realidad de muchos matrimonios que no pueden tener hijos, los desaf\u00edos a los que […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1436,"featured_media":63131,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[551,548],"tags":[233,2820,644],"class_list":["post-63130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-familia","category-foco","tag-entrevistas","tag-infertilidad","tag-matrimonio"],"yoast_head":"\nLeigh Fitzpatrick Snead: \u201cLos matrimonios estamos llamados a dar fruto m\u00e1s all\u00e1 de los hijos\u201d<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Entrevista con Leigh Fitzpatrick Snead acerca de los matrimonios que se enfrentan a la infertilidad en su vida.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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