{"id":63290,"date":"2026-07-23T06:07:00","date_gmt":"2026-07-23T04:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.omnesmag.com\/?p=63290"},"modified":"2026-07-22T14:08:40","modified_gmt":"2026-07-22T12:08:40","slug":"carlos-chiclana-parents-sex-education","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.omnesmag.com\/en\/foco\/carlos-chiclana-padres-educacion-sexual\/","title":{"rendered":"Carlos Chiclana: \u00abParents know much more about sex education than they realize\u00bb"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For many families, talking to their children about sexuality remains an unresolved issue. According to psychiatrist and psychotherapist Carlos Chiclana Actis, many parents know the answers to their children\u2019s questions but lack the necessary tools to address them. Meanwhile, social media, pornography, and friends often fill that educational void.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This need gave rise to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thefunsex.com\/\">TheFunSex<\/a>, a program that aims to train parents and educators to discuss sexuality with clarity, accuracy, and naturalness. It is an initiative that focuses on guidance rather than prohibition and on building a relationship of trust that allows children to turn to their parents when questions arise. To this end, it features 15 experts from various fields\u2014psychiatry, psychology, sexology, medicine, anthropology, and education\u2014including Rafael Lafuente, Mar\u00eda Calvo, Alejandro Villena, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.omnesmag.com\/en\/focus\/interview-pep-borrell\/\" data-type=\"post\" data-id=\"53685\">Pep Borrell<\/a>, Clara de Cendra and Nuria Ferrer, among others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We spoke with Dr. Carlos Chiclana Actis, a leading expert in mental health and sexuality, about the challenges of sex education at home and in school, the impact of screens, and the importance of restoring dialogue at home. He is one of the founders of TheFunSex and the project\u2019s scientific director.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What specific need did you identify that led you to believe TheFunSex needed to be created?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2013One specific need was the practical experience of talking with many parents in casual conversations among friends and at gatherings, where they would share stories and ask you basic questions about sexuality, and bring up issues regarding their children\u2014concerns and questions for which they had no answers or didn\u2019t know how to respond, and which they therefore tended to avoid. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The goal was to provide them with practical, experiential content contributed by academic experts (the vast majority of whom are parents themselves), thereby addressing the questions parents had in everyday life\u2014not in a clinical setting, but in a natural way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The motto reads: \u00abNot to prohibit, but to support.\u00bb What exactly does \u201csupport\u201d mean in the context of sex education?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2013The goal is to provide comprehensive sexuality education and guidance from the very beginning of a child\u2019s life. When parents are present from the start, educating and guiding their children in this area as well, they provide support, set a practical example, and foster an atmosphere of trust. This allows boys and girls to acquire knowledge and feel supported in their discoveries, during the upheaval of adolescence, and later on, as they develop their own life plans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Thus, the father is not merely a watchdog, nor is the mother a controlling observer, nor is sex education reduced to restrictive moral instruction or a focus on preventing STIs or pregnancies. It is a much broader, more comprehensive, and more natural form of guidance that takes place in an educational context, just as we educate our children in so many other areas of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What we want is for sexuality\u2014as a central aspect of the human condition\u2014to be naturally included in the education that a family wishes to provide for its children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What is the most common mistake parents make when trying to address these issues?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2013The first mistake is not doing it. And this isn't just my opinion\u2014it's something the data shows: most parents don't talk to their children about sex education.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The second is not listening\u2014not listening to their needs or the questions they have. This can lead to confusion and a certain degree of distrust in children\u2014not necessarily a negative kind of distrust, but rather the feeling that their parents are not the people they should turn to for guidance and to resolve their doubts, so they will have to look elsewhere for answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And the third is to avoid getting personally involved when giving answers. Those would probably be the three main mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When it comes to pornography, what do you think should be the first reaction of parents who have just discovered that their child is viewing it?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2013Your first reaction should be to give them a hug and ask them what they need, how they got to this point, how it makes them feel, and how you can help them get out of this situation. You should also explain that pornography does not represent the natural way of experiencing sexuality; rather, it offers a distorted and confusing view that can be harmful to both their nervous system and their sexual development.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The first message should be: \u00abSon, you have a problem, but we can help you. This isn\u2019t healthy for you. How can we help you? What do you need?\u00bb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Second, that pornography has likely been accessed through a device that the parents themselves provided: a cell phone, a tablet, a computer, or a video game console with an internet connection. That\u2019s why this is also a time for parents to ask themselves how they are shaping their digital home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just as we try to keep excessive noise out of our home and ensure the temperature is comfortable, and we have alarms to protect it, it\u2019s also worth designing a digital home where the family\u2019s ethical, moral, and health \u00abtemperature\u00bb is well regulated, and where we set up alarms to keep out the bad guys who want to steal our innocence, sexuality, and money through pornography.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">You say, \u201cWhat TikTok Won\u2019t Teach Your Kids.\u201d How can we compete with TikTok?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2013The first thing would be not to give them a cell phone or install TikTok. When faced with this, some people might think, \u00abYou\u2019re out of touch; you don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on.\u00bb But maybe it\u2019s the other way around: precisely because I\u2019m so immersed in the world, I know what\u2019s going on and I\u2019m aware of the potential negative consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The Spanish Association of Pediatrics strongly recommends that children not have their own cell phones and that, if they do use one\u2014because we don\u2019t want them to be digitally illiterate either\u2014they do so in common areas, away from their bedrooms and bathrooms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I talk to parents, I tell them: The Spanish Association of Pediatrics recommends a vaccination schedule. It\u2019s up to you whether or not to follow it. Well, it also offers guidelines on education, training, and cell phone use for your children. You can choose to follow them or not, but it\u2019s important to know that these recommendations aren\u2019t about your children\u2019s morality, but rather about their mental health, neurocognitive development, ability to control impulses, mood, and anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Every family must decide how they want to raise their children, but it shouldn\u2019t be because they lack the tools to do so. That\u2019s why we\u2019ve created a program where parents can learn to do so in a simple, natural, and confident way, alongside other parents. With short questions you can refer to at any time, straightforward topics we\u2019ve tested in various focus groups to ensure they address parents\u2019 real concerns, weekly live sessions, and a community where you can participate and ask new questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What we want is for parents to be able to say, \u00abNow I know how, now I can, and now I\u2019ll get there.\u00bb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What do parents need to be able to say, \u00abThat\u2019s how I\u2019ll get there\u00bb?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2013Parents know a lot, and we want to reinforce this idea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A few days ago, during a summer activity, the children\u2014who were about ten years old\u2014and their parents were divided into two groups. The children were asked to write down the questions they had about sex for their parents. And the parents were asked to write down the questions they thought their children had for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The parents came up with extremely complicated questions, while the children\u2019s questions were very simple\u2014and, in reality, the parents knew how to answer them. So, often, it\u2019s about taking that leap of trust: learning to listen, knowing how to join the conversation, and knowing how to be patient. Because, in fact, many parents already have a good grasp of the subject matter. What they need are small tools to guide them, as well as ways and methods for approaching these conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What role should schools play in sex education, and what role is the exclusive responsibility of the family?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2013According to the latest National Survey on Sexual Health, which was just published after a 19-year hiatus in surveys of this kind, more than 90 % of the population believes that sex education should be provided in schools.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There\u2019s a very positive side to this: it reflects a clear social awareness of the need for sex education. But there\u2019s also a side to it that strikes me as somewhat negative, because it seems to leave parents out of the picture. It\u2019s true that the survey didn\u2019t ask whether people thought it was necessary for parents to receive sex education as well. Perhaps they simply forgot to include that question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It seems to me that these two approaches complement each other very well. For example, at school, when a child is five years old, they can be taught that their body belongs to them, how to say no, and how to ask for help if they\u2019re in danger. But by the time that class comes around, their parents should already have spent five years educating them about sexuality and explaining many things to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is why I believe that sex education in school, in collaboration with families, is the best model. We have also confirmed this in an academic study we published this year, in which we interviewed parents, teachers, and students to learn about their perspectives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">This project is designed for both believers and non-believers\u2026<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2013Yes. We\u2019ve designed the course so that anyone can take it, regardless of whether they have religious beliefs or not, or whether they practice a faith or not. We\u2019ve done this intentionally, ensuring that the material presented is grounded in truth, experience, and science.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That\u2019s why it can be useful for anyone\u2014parents or families alike. It\u2019s true that many of the speakers are publicly known for their faith, but as the program\u2019s academic and scientific director, I\u2019ve taken special care to ensure that the answers aren\u2019t based on faith or any specific moral code, but rather on experience and science. Our hope is that anyone can use TheFunSex.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hablar de sexualidad con los hijos sigue siendo, para muchas familias, una asignatura pendiente. Muchos padres, seg\u00fan cuenta el psiquiatra y psicoterapeuta Carlos Chiclana Actis, saben las respuestas a las preguntas de sus hijos pero no cuentan con las herramientas necesarias para abordarlas. Mientras tanto, las redes sociales, la pornograf\u00eda o los amigos ocupan con [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3091,"featured_media":63338,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[552,548],"tags":[933],"class_list":["post-63290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-educacion","category-foco","tag-sexualidad"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Carlos Chiclana: \u00abLos padres saben de educaci\u00f3n sexual\u00bb<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"El doctor Carlos Chiclana Actis propone recuperar el di\u00e1logo en casa y dotar a las familias de herramientas para educar en sexualidad.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" 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