Protecting children from screens, the battle of Carolina Perez Stephens

I arrived fifteen minutes early at the Starbucks, but I didn't count on my guest arriving early as well. So when I handed her my recently published book, “Ojos nuevos. El amor es más fuerte que la pornografía” (Semillas Ediciones, 2025), the first page lacked a dedication. It didn't matter: my omission was eclipsed by Carolina Pérez Stephens' enthusiasm when she greeted me and received the gift.

-It was nice to meet you in person," he said.

I felt lucky. I would have the opportunity to speak with one of the influencers I was struck by the way she ordered the coffee: she used a very complex formula that showed her expertise. Maybe that's why I was struck by the way she ordered her coffee: she used a very complex formula that showed experience. What did she ask for? I don't know, for me, a novice in American coffee shops, it was like witnessing a joke: “Decaffeinated coffee, with skim cream; and, oh, sweet, but without sweetener”. 

He said something like that. To complete the joke, I would have given him a glass of water. Instead, they brought him a long, steaming, seductive glass, which I envied. When it was my turn, I asked for a Coke. light. An unconscious stroke of sobriety, the point of rebellion, a sign of my worth... But my smirk collapsed when the vendor made me see that we were in a Starbucks and that, therefore, (“idiot”, he might as well have interjected), they didn't sell cans there. So, a little embarrassed at the look on Carolina's face, who was already on her way to the armchairs in the corner, I ordered the slushy suggested by the sign in front of me. And, as it was 2 p.m., I added the most expensive sandwich of the year to my order.

Two books: “Kidnapped by screens” and “Trapped by the network”.”

With that we went to sit down. Carolina, smiling, and me too. We had connected from the first minute. She has been fighting for seven years, with all kinds of initiatives, while I have only been fighting for two, with my work as a school chaplain, a book and a couple of opinion columns. That's why it was so good for me to ask her advice.

-Actually, this is our third conversation," I said, "because the first and the second we had while I was reading your books.

I was referring to “Secuestrados por las pantallas” (Zig Zag, 2022) and “Atrapados por la red” (Zig Zag, 2024). Two titles that have been widely distributed in our country.

She smiled.

-Yes," he said, "that's exactly what the publisher asked me to do: to write the same way I speak in my talks.

The risks of three hours of social networking

He did well. They are short books that evoke the conversation of a class of proxies. But Carolina does not digress, nor does she beat around the bush, but relies on neuroscience. Children suffer all kinds of problems,“ she teaches, ”but not because they are to blame," she says, "but because their brains are still immature. He points out, for example, that "three hours of daily use of social networks doubles the probability of suffering mental health problems". 

It is up to the adults to protect them from threats and guide them in their education. To do that, the best thing we can do is to delay handing out cell phones. For how long? As long as possible. Even if it costs, even if it is countercultural, even if you have to resist tantrums, it is worth facing the issue, because what is more valuable than your own child's brain? This is the author's approach.

Relationship between education and neurosciences

In this sense, it is appreciated that in these written conversations, Carolina Pérez takes advantage of her university education. She is an early childhood educator, has a degree in aesthetics and a master's degree in education from Harvard, where she gained in-depth knowledge of the relationship between education and neuroscience. 

She now works as the director of Starfish Kindergarten, has more than 160,000 followers at Instagram and she is frequently invited to give talks in schools, radio stations, television programs, etc. At Youtube, for example, is available a very entertaining Ted Talk  she gave in Frutillar, in November 2024. Listening to her, I was struck, again (along with her preparation and handling of the storytelling), his enthusiasm.

-How did you become so successful in spreading your message? -I asked.

-I started writing columns in the magazine Smile mom. Time went by, I never thought it would escalate, until they called me from Zig Zag publishing house to ask me to write a book about the topics I dealt with in the articles. I couldn't believe it. I accepted, thinking that with the money I would earn I could travel to Kiev. Then I realized that it is very difficult to make a living from books, but it doesn't matter.

  We laughed.

-And you have sold more than six thousand copies of your first work, which is a lot for the educational genre.

-I was lucky. I was lucky, because the Ministry of Education was interested and bought copies for schools.

“I'm getting more and more attention.”

-And how has the public's reception been? Do you feel that your books are helping people?

-They pay more and more attention to me. When I started, 7 years ago, I was alone. Many people thought I was crazy when they saw me talking about screens and their dangers for children's brains. But, little by little, awareness has become more widespread and now restriction is a global purpose.

-It must have been difficult in those early years, I can imagine," I empathized. Today there is a global wave of prohibitions, even at the legislative level. But in spite of that, parents continue to give screens to their children... 

Energy from Dostoyevsky's books

Where do you find the strength to keep going?

-From Dostoyevsky. Reading his books gives me the energy I need to row against the current, to face the resistance of skeptics, to give my talks with a sense of humor. Sometimes I feel I am doing Stand Up Comedy, haha. After reading Fiodor, one feels capable of any adventure. In fact, I am so fond of this author that I named my puppy after him.

That's more or less how our first live conversation went. I learned, I had a good time. I hope we will see each other more often.

Heartbreaking testimony of a teenage girl

To finish, I bring you a letter that Carolina copied in her first book. It is a heartbreaking testimony, which explains, perhaps, the author's energy to keep going, to smile in the TV matinees, to try so hard to convince parents, or to swallow saliva and keep her 16 year old daughter without smartphone even though all her friends already have one. With these lines we can keep thinking, suffer a little and join the campaign to protect children.

This is the testimony of a teenage girl:

“I am fifteen years old and at twelve years old I was given my first smartphone, They did it simply because I told them that all the moms and dads in my class were giving them to my classmates. At first they told me no, that I didn't need it because my mom was going to pick me up from school, but I insisted, since all my friends were agreeing on homework assignments and meetings by WhatsApp. I told them that I had not been invited to three meetings because I did not have a telephone. That same day they bought me one. Now I think I wish they hadn't, because I look back and see how immature I was. In any case, I don't blame them.

The first thing I did when I received it was to download WhatsApp e Instagram, (...) The only demand they made was that they were going to follow me on my social media account (...) The only demand they made was that they were going to follow me on my social media account (...) The only demand they made was that they were going to follow me on my Instagram, to know what my friends and I were posting.

I was happy, I spent hours taking off selfies I really wanted to see myself as I looked with the filter!

“My phone was more entertaining than classes.”

Some time went by and my parents started to bother me about reading, since I never really liked reading, but I read what they asked me to read at school. My teachers would send them emails saying that my grades were dropping and saying that I no longer checked out the required books in the library. I didn't really care, my phone was a thousand times more entertaining than school classes.

How much I loved uploading pictures! My friends told me that they all had other accounts that their parents didn't know about and therefore didn't see, so I made up another separate account, and there I could post without thinking about whether my mom or dad would like it or not (...).

When I turned thirteen my life became too complicated. All day long I was on my phone, day and night. My friends did the same thing and we had a competition of who had more likes in publications.

The more body we showed, the more likes We had and I was very embarrassed and afraid (...).

Switching to direct messages and photos 

As the competition was who had the most likes, I started to accept anyone who sent me a friend request, without even checking their profile (...). One day one of my followers started to write me direct messages, I checked his profile, he was my age and in the pictures he looked quite pretty. Every day he wrote me, he told me he was from Arica and that hopefully someday we could meet. He was very sweet and I really felt him as a good friend. I started to tell him my problems and he always had a kind word.

We started dating.

Videos on TikTok

I also started posting videos on TikTok as they all did, and the shorter my shirt or the tighter my pants were, the more likes and more followers he was getting.

I used to feel ashamed when in various confessional groups at my school they would ask questions about who was the best bitching in TikTok, because one day my name came up. At first I felt great, but then the teasing started. They made fun of my hair, that I was a little fat, that my clothes looked bad. I really wanted to die. On the one hand, I was happy that everyone was talking about me, but on the other hand, I didn't want to leave my house.

My mom and dad would ask me all day why I was eating less and why I was looking sad. I knew why it was, but I didn't want to tell them. If I told them that they were making me bullying I was sure that they were going to go to the school to plead and then they would take my phone away. I preferred to keep quiet than to have it taken away. Several of my friends were just like me and one of them recommended an account on Instagram where they told you what to do so you wouldn't eat and no one in your family would notice. All I wanted was to lose weight so they wouldn't say my videos were bad because I was fat.

“Who went the longest without eating anything.”

We found so many beads! We couldn't stop looking at them. With my friends we started doing challenges to see who could go the longest without eating anything. I quickly lost weight and my clothes fit much better, they could no longer criticize me for my weight, I was thinner than many of my classmates.

My boyfriend used to tell me I looked great and every day I would send him pictures so he could see the changes. In the end the best technique was to eat when I was with my family and then I would throw it up. All the time I was away from home I just didn't eat anything. I became friends because of Instagram of many using the same technique.

My parents didn't understand why I was getting thinner, according to my mom it was because I was growing up. It was my history teacher who called me one day to talk to me because she was worried about me. She told me that she was surprised to see me so pale and with my dull eyes; that I could trust her, that we could talk about anything I wanted, that she had known me for many years. But I didn't want to tell her anything. I had one life and things I told at home and school, but I had another on my phone. I didn't want anyone meddling in my life.

Proposals for less clothing

One day my boyfriend started asking me for pictures with less clothes on and I didn't want to, I was embarrassed. He told me that he would soon come to Santiago and that he wanted to get to know me better, that we had been in a virtual relationship for a long time and that he had an aunt with a house in Santiago where we could go. How angry he got when I said no! He didn't write me for four days. I was so sad that I went to the bathroom, took off my clothes and sent him the photo. He sent me a thousand hearts and I was happy. Problem solved, plus I gave in so we could see each other when he came.

 (...) The problem exploded when I had to have my cell phone fixed due to a battery issue. My mom, suspecting things, told the technician to unlock everything and checked my photos, videos, other accounts, everything!

ER...., and detoxification of social networks: “I smiled again”.”

I have erased from my mind the conversation I had with them after that, because when they told me that they had unlocked the phone and that they had checked everything, I had a panic attack. I cried non-stop, screamed and couldn't stand anyone touching me. That's when I was rushed to the clinic. They gave me something to calm me down and I spent the night there. My mother slept with me. The next day a psychiatrist arrived and explained that I had had a decompensation due to my anxiety and depression. I cried a lot and my mom cried with me.

Now I am in therapy. They took away my cell phone and I thought I was going to die, I thought about killing myself. It was a month of terror, they had to give me medicine to sleep, I was shivering and the psychiatrist told me that I was going through a period of detoxification from social networks. I thought that life had no meaning, but little by little, with the help and love of my family and the medical team, I smiled again”.