What is a priest doing at 3 o'clock in the morning in his room in Helsinki (Finland), when he is a doctor and identifies in his body the unmistakable symptoms of a stroke: a fulminant migraine followed by loss of mobility and strength on the right side?
We will make a spoiler of this video of Rebeldes Podcast. We talk about the Bilbao bishop Raimo Goyarrola who, in front of a crucifix, in the solitude of his room, being vicar general of the Diocese, diagnoses his own stroke, engages in a conversation full of boldness and faith with God (1 h. 02′ 18″). and decides to continue working for the Church before going to the hospital, and prays.
The stroke: “Jesus, are you calling me now?”
“I've had migraines all my life. And that night I got a very strong one, a kind of dagger in the eye. And I thought: I'm having a heart attack, maybe I'll be paralyzed, maybe I'll die, I don't know. I prayed, which is what I usually do, I have a crucifix in front of me, with Jesus, and I told him face to face:
“Jesus, are you calling me now? Prayer is saying what is inside you”, says Bishop Goyarrola.
“Look, Jesus, don't call me. If you call me now, what for, to go to purgatory? I do not see myself in heaven, I am not a saint, I cannot go to heaven..., if I go to heaven I want to give you a hug; when I die, I want to give you a hug, give you a kiss, where is Mary, where is Joseph (for me Our Lady is always with Saint Joseph), the saints, Saint Josemaria, Saint Ignatius of Loyola, all my favorite saints, and that embrace of Jesus is an embrace of God the Father.
I got up, went to the bathroom as best I could, to look at the eye, the eye is already a brain..., I was terrible, but I was not going to wake people up, the bishop was in Rome, and the next day there was a State inspection, I was the vicar general, and I had to be defending the Church”.
Four hours praying
It was 4 hours of prayer. And I said to the Lord, who am I to tell you ....? Whatever you want, Lord. If you want to call me, that's it... And if you don't call me... There is so much to do, Jesus, we are too few Catholics, too few priests, friends, projects... Let me help you here! Don't do everything yourself, let me help you...
I convinced him.
It was time to wake up, I was limping, and I went to celebrate Mass.
I didn't say anything to anyone. This is a bad example...“
And God let him live.
Raimo Goyarrola celebrated Mass hiding his paralysis -using manual tricks with his left hand to raise the chalice-, he decided that his responsibility to the little girl Catholic community of Finland was a priority to his medical emergency, and held a two-hour long meeting with state officials to defend the interests of the Church.
Only after doing his duty did he go to the hospital, where an MRI confirmed an infarction in the brainstem, a vital area of the brain where he could have died peacefully.
The bishop admits with total sincerity in the podcast that his behavior was technically reckless: “This is a bad example, eh? (...) If you have a heart attack or a stroke, go to the doctor. I did it wrong, I did it wrong. He explains that he is not telling this anecdote for others to imitate, but to illustrate how far the desire to serve can go”.
1. His mother, with cancer. Studying medicine and palliative care
Monsignor Goyarrola talks in the long podcast, which goes by very quickly, about his vocation as a doctor, how he went from wanting to cure the cancer of the body to healing «the cancer of the soul», which is hopelessness, about the reality of Finland and loneliness, about peace and happiness.....
Here we only briefly recall two more sections. The cancer from which his mother died, and the times he has been with the late Pope Francis and Pope Leo XIV.
Raimo Goyarrola's mother fell ill with cancer when he was 15 years old. “I saw the evolution, the treatment, the hair loss, the little hat she wore. It was hard and painful, but I also felt a lot of peace, because my mother gave a lot of peace. She was 18 years old when she passed away.
His mother's illness (4’ 13”), prompted Raimo Goyarrola to specialize in Palliative Care, to join a research group in palliative care, and to complete his doctoral thesis in the same specialty.
2. My mother's testament to my father: ‘Teach the children to love Jesus’.
“I was a first year medical student in Navarra, imagine the academic level, the level of studies... We moved my mother from Bilbao to Navarra... In Bilbao they told us: ‘there is nothing to do’. Excuse me, there is something to do, I thought. It is to accompany her. And I said to my aita (father in Basque). I propose to take her to Pamplona, and at least they will accompany her, they will not leave her in a corner. In fact, it lasted several months, and every afternoon I went to see her, Bishop Goyarrola told Ignacio Amorós and Pablo López.
“I saw that I was losing strength, vitality. And one day my father came, who worked in Bilbao, and came for the weekend. My mother was hospitalized, writing on a tablet, unable to speak, and she wrote to my father: ‘Teach your children to love Jesus’ (9’ 30”). It was my mother's testament. And that has helped me all my life. A mother who has given us life, and who has also passed the faith on to us.”.
3. Prayers for ‘international dialogue between Lutherans and Catholics.”.
February saw the start of a phase of international dialogue between Lutherans and Catholics, and Cardinal Koch has chosen him to chair this international committee. The Holy See is interested in achieving a document of unity by 2030.
The podcast answers several questions about the keys to this dialogue, and focuses on two: “Ecumenism is human and divine, body and soul. The key is: “to pray together, and friendship, to love each other.. I am super friends with the Lutheran bishops, Orthodox, we stay. And what is friendship? Trust, again, affection. When there is trust, ecumenism is easy. Prayer and friendship.” (1h 16’ 10”).
4. “I have been with the last 4 Popes”.”
“God loves me very much and I have been with the last 4 Popes.”, answers when asked about the 5 times he has been with Pope Leo XIV.
“With John Paul II, twice. With Pope Benedict, 3. With Pope Francis, 10. And now, with Cardinal Prevost I was 3 times, and with Pope Leo, 2.”. And he comments with a smile: “We have time ahead of us, let's see if I surpass Pope Francis” ten times.".
“Pope Leo is a very good man, calm, unhurried, he is an analytical man, he is a mathematician. For Pope Leo, two plus two is four. He has studied Canon Law. He is from Chicago, from the United States, American from the north, but also American from the south, he has been in Peru for 20 years, and he has spent two years in the Roman Curia, three years with this one. I think it's a wonderful mix”.
“When he was elected and came out of the balcony, I was overjoyed. I thank God every day. He is a man who is repeating: unity and Jesus at the center” (1h 19’).
Rebel Podcast reports that you can find the book ‘Breaking the Ice. Stories of a Catholic priest in Finland’, here o here.
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