From Abortion to Worship: Monica let God do it all

Moni is a woman with a lively look. She speaks at full speed, as she is, with that mixture of strength and tenderness that only comes from having been through hell and back. “Human beings get used to everything,” she says. “I covered up many wounds in my life with going out, alcohol and fun, but since there is no wound that the Lord cannot heal, here I am now, full of peace thanks to Him,” she says with the experience of one who has seen it all.

Children and youth

Moni was born in Madrid, in a Catholic family “by custom, not practice”. She was baptized and studied at the Colegio San Ramón y San Antonio, of the Augustinian Sisters, “a Catholic school, where I received communion, but the faith did not take hold of me. I stopped going to Mass after my first communion,” she recalls. “I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel part of that world. She had a twin sister, inseparable in childhood, who always kept the faith, but Moni during adolescence distanced herself completely from the spiritual. 

At 16, Moni met the man who would be her boyfriend for more than a decade. She spent a few years at night and out of control. “I used to take cars drunk. I didn't do drugs because I was afraid. I did a lot of damage to those around me. A lot. I hurt a lot of people,” she says sincerely.

The strength that sustained her was, according to her, pure unconsciousness: “I was never afraid, never insecure. It was bam, bam. Until everything collapsed,” she says.

The wound

He was 22 years old when his life was completely broken. “It was one night after going to a house with four boys after being at a discotheque. I barely remember the details of that night, but the next day - trying to piece together the events - I was aware of what had happened and that I had been abused.”. 

Weeks later, she discovered she was pregnant. “I went to the Dator clinic in Madrid. I had an abortion. And I went straight to work,” explains Moni.

She went on with her life as if nothing had happened. She did not share it with anyone in her family, although soon after came fears she had never had before (of elevators, driving...) and anxiety attacks. I became insecure. My sister would say to me: ‘you look strange, afraid’. I would reply: ‘nothing is wrong with me’. But there was.”

That miscarriage was a crack that remained hidden for years. “I thought I had fixed it. But the body keeps everything.”

Hitting rock bottom

After breaking up with her boyfriend, Moni fell into a void. “When he left me, I thought I was dying. But the Lord always took care of me, always, even though I was logically unaware and lived far away from Him. So I started playing paddle tennis, just to do something.” Paddle tennis was, without knowing it, her first step into the light. “That's where I met normal people,” he says with a chuckle. “People who made evening plans, who valued you. I realized that you could live without night.”

It was also there that he met Jordi, a man who played in his same club. “I loved him. I thought, ‘He's great. But at the time it wasn't the Lord's plan. I didn't know it yet.’.

After a few years of friendship, Jordi divorced, and they started a relationship until in 2015, Moni and Jordi moved in together. “The first year was phenomenal, but then it was fatal. I wanted to be happy at all, and I saw that I could not. What used to fulfill me, no longer made me happy.”.

They had tough arguments. “I'd see him angry, and I'd think, ”I'm hurting again. I'm breaking everything. I've always thought that whatever I touch I break." During those years, Moni remained faithless, but the divine seed was beginning to germinate without her noticing.

The day of his conversion

The search for happiness led Moni to a Cursillo retreat and on January 16, 2020, “I was in front of the Tabernacle. I started crying non-stop. I only heard a voice inside: ‘calm down, calm down’. I didn't understand anything. But I knew that God was real, that He was there.”

It was the beginning of his conversion. “From that day on, the Lord put order in my life. He teaches me that what I used to see as normal is no longer normal. I began to obey him. With love, because I knew he loved me.”.

When she realized that her relationship with Jordi was inconsistent with her faith and could not continue the same, she took the most difficult step: “I told him that I wanted to live as brothers until he got the nullity of his first marriage”. 

It was hard for Jordi, but he accepted it. “Fortunately, the Lord gave him a conversion as strong as mine, and we were able to live like this for four years, until 2024 when they recognized the nullity and we were able to get married. It was very hard and precious at the same time,” explains Moni, “It was as if the Lord was telling me: you see, when you obey, everything is in order. And I learned that there, in obedience”.

Project Rachel 

Although her life had turned around, one wound remained unhealed: the abortion. In March 2024, Moni began Project Rachel, a healing journey for women who have had abortions.

“I went thinking I was already healed, but the Lord wanted something more. I went with fear, reluctantly. I was panicky about digging into past wounds that I thought I had overcome. But from the first session I felt a lot of peace.”.

“Thanks to Project Rachel I have been able to have a relationship with my son. Before it was impossible, but now I have given him a name, she named him Maravillas. “One day I understood that my baby was wonderful, even if he came into the world the way he came. His life is a wonder. That's why he's called that.”.

The last session culminated with a Mass offered by his son. “I wrote him a letter. It said, ‘I know your life is going to be wonderful in Heaven.’ And it is. Since then, I pray to him. I talk to him. I pray to him.”.

Today: from injury to mission

Today, Moni is one of the volunteers who pray in front of abortion clinics, including in front of the Dator clinic where she entered at the age of 22. “The first time I went there, I had a terrible time. It was raining, I was alone. A guy insulted me. I was scared. But I still go. Because I see them and I see myself.”.

“What hurts me the most is the Lord. That we say no to his plan. That we take lives with such ease. It hurts me first and foremost the sin, not the people.” He speaks of the women who go in for abortions with the compassion of one who has been there. “I pray for them and for the boyfriends who accompany them. Poor, also deceived. If they only knew...”.

And he concludes: “There is no greater evil than to take the life of your own child. But there is no wound that the Lord cannot heal”. Her story shows this clearly, especially now that she is six months pregnant.