Paula Vega: «We dream of a Church where the vocation to adoption is naturalized».»

Paula Vega is a digital missionary from Malaga and a committed layperson in her diocese, known for her commitment to evangelization in the digital environment. Founder of the project Call meyumi, Paula seeks to share God's love from a close and creative point of view, using digital media as a mission tool. In addition to her work on this platform, she works as a Project Manager in Spain for the series The Chosen, is Community Manager of the Redemptorist Congregation of Spain and Content Creator at Católicos en Red. He studies theology, offers conferences on faith and communication, and has published several books that reflect his spiritual and pastoral experience.

Married since 2023 to her husband Dani, Paula lives her marital vocation with joy and depth. Together, they have embarked on a path of openness to life that has led them to embrace adoption as their “plan A”. On World Adoption Day, they share their testimony with Omnes in the hope of inspiring other couples to discover this vocation.

Paula, could you tell us how this call for adoption came about?

-God planted that concern in our hearts even before we met. Already as a bride and groom, when we dreamed of our future family, adoption came up in conversations and we always ended up saying: “If it is our way, He will take us there”. In our human logic we thought first of biological children and then of adoption; but God's logic was different. When I was newly married, I was diagnosed with endometriosis and we were warned of possible difficulties in conceiving. We were offered different ways to try biological motherhood, but we chose to be more open to life. We asked ourselves what it really meant to be parents and decided to start adoption as our “plan A” as well.

For many women it is a very difficult cross to accept that they naturally cannot have children. What is your experience.

-In our case, we have never been declared infertile; that is why we remain open to life in all its forms: biological, adoption and also foster care (which we are already discerning). These are paths that we put in God's hands so that he may decide the times and forms.

We feel that our current cross is not the impossibility of becoming parents, but rather the waiting period. If it were up to us, we would have our child here tomorrow, but God's timing is what it is. In the meantime, we face this period with patience and trust.

How do you live and how is the adoption process you are going through?

-We always say that adoption does not start with the first piece of paper, but with the first movement of the heart. Then come the formal steps: an informative talk, a training course (about 20 hours) and the offer. It is not “requesting” a child - because there is no right to be parents - but offering oneself as a family for a specific profile of a child, putting his or her needs at the center.

Then comes suitability: psychological and social interviews, home visits, review of the support network... They are demanding and we think it's good that they are: the most valuable thing is protected, which is the child. Once this phase is over, then comes the waiting period, which varies according to the child's profile or the country where the adoption is being processed.

In practical terms, the paperwork is intense: doctors, certificates, notary's office, child protection service, photos, printouts and copies. The hardest part is the bureaucracy and the uncertainty of deadlines. The most beautiful thing is knowing that each step brings us closer to our child. 

We prepare to receive our child as we would a biological child, but perhaps with more awareness. We pray every day for our little one and for his or her biological family. We are training in attachment, trauma and educational methodologies - books, courses and podcasts - to arrive with a more trained heart and realistic expectations. We are also preparing the house with simplicity; a cozy room, clear routines and space to build attachments. In addition, we talk a lot with our family, friends and parish community to explain more about the adoption process, and the needs or characteristics our child will bring. We prepare with excitement and of course, with the normal fears that any parent would have wondering if we will know how to do it right. 

How have you dealt with the doubts and the wait on this adoption journey?

-The first thing was to welcome them with affection: they are normal and human. We name them, we talk about them among ourselves, we present them in prayer and, little by little, they find their place. We understood that in all parenthood there will always be doubts and expectations; the key is not to let them lead. We tried to look at our path with God's logic and love: to put the child at the center, to remember why we started and to choose - again and again - to trust.

We also give ourselves permission to live the wait in a different way; we do not both feel it in the same way and saying out loud what each one of us needs helps us a lot. We avoid comparing ourselves with the times of others, because we know that God already has that red thread tied and ready, and that requires constant trust and abandonment to his plans. We also try to remain active in our mission, focused on serving God from what we have been given, without becoming obsessed with waiting, because our marriage is already fruitful. 

What would you say to other Christian couples who are concerned about adopting, but don't know where to start?

-Let them begin, even with fear. Put into words the seed that God has placed in your heart, talk about it calmly among yourselves and get close to couples who are already on the road: listening to their lights and shadows is very pacifying. Go to the informative talk and also to the formation course offered by the Child Protection Service: it does not commit you to continue with the process, so you can live it as a discernment that opens your eyes and your heart. And ask yourselves the basic question: What does it mean to me to be a father or mother? Is it reduced to sharing genes or does it have to do with welcoming, caring for and loving a specific person? When that answer is settled, the “where to start” becomes simple.

What hope do you want to convey with your story and what wish do you have for the future of your adoptive family within the Church and society?

-In a Church that raises its voice loudly for the unborn, we would like to hear more and more the cry of those who have already been born and are waiting for a family. There are thousands of children in centers who need a stable and safe home. If we do not speak of the vocation to adoption and fostering, it does not seem to exist; that is why we dream of parishes and communities where this call is naturalized and put on the table, so that couples can know it and discern it. If our story encourages just one couple to open themselves to life in this way, it will have been worthwhile.