Mariolina Ceriotti: "For a relationship to last you have to really love it".Mariolina Ceriotti: Training to be a parent, day after dayItalian doctor Mariolina Ceriotti Migliares speaks in his book "Erotic and maternal"The two dimensions of the woman. Both are interpenetrating and have their purpose. The erotic one is fundamental for a balanced self-esteem and in the couple relationship for a complementary relationship between man and woman. The psychiatrist explains that these dimensions are born from the proper gaze of the male, starting with his father and brothers, and are developed in dealing with other men.
Esperanza Ruiz, in the April issue of La Antorcha, develops this idea: "Women are built on the reference to a father. The eclipse of the father figure weakens us profoundly. A father is the first man who pronounces our name and the pull we take to orient the heart. The child who feels loved and important to the father becomes aware of her value and chases away fears.
There is no deeper femininity than that which has been cared for as a treasure, which has received confidence and which has been accompanied in the falls". Thus when it comes to a dating relationship the attraction is mutual between the man and the woman, because there is a defined femininity and masculinity that leads to a union not only corporal but also spiritual.
At the same time, the woman in her relationship with her children exercises her maternity, which is a sign of tenderness and unlimited dedication for someone born from her womb. Curiously, it develops thanks to the other dimension, that is to say, it is the result of the attraction between man and woman. This leads the woman to show a special beauty and freshness during pregnancy.
Jaume Vives says about this moment in the same April issue of La Antorcha: "Pregnancy which, in a very beautiful way, Teresa Pueyo compares to the Eucharist -saving all distances-, becomes today not a miracle that gives life and shows us the footprint of the Creator but an obstacle that must be circumvented or neutralized so that it does not affect us".
Ana Iris Simón, the famous and suggestive writer and journalist -mother of two children- indicated in an accurate column entitled "Real motherhood" in ELLE, one of the keys to understand it: "Although even turning parenting into a mourners' competition has its merits: as the message you receive from the networks is that it is a valley of tears, when you experience it, you realize that it is not so bad. And that real motherhood is wearing a nursing bra with traces of vomit, dark circles under your eyes up to your feet and a bag full of paints, Lego pieces and half-eaten sandwiches. But it is also - and above all - the joy and fulfillment of living so that others may live".
Before and after giving birth, she develops this facet that cannot be supplanted by anyone -not even by Artificial Intelligence-, since it is necessary for the offspring to develop as a person. Many times this maternal dimension is conceived as a limitation of freedom by misunderstood feminism, although it is not, because it is an act of free and generous surrender, which we all appreciate, since a good mother is devoted to her children.
Therefore both dimensions, erotic and maternal, are ways of giving oneself to the other, the problem comes when the roles are confused. Dr. Ceriotti explains that these dimensions are complementary and warns us of the danger of pouring one of the two dimensions into the wrong person.
In other words, it tells us about two increasingly common psychopathologies: mothers who treat their husbands as sons or mothers who treat their sons as husbands.
If in a marriage the relationship is maternalistic and not one of attraction, there will be no fullness or complementarity between man and woman and this will cause dysfunctionalities that will have repercussions in the family. And vice versa, eroticizing the relationship with your child, looking for affection for your husband in your child, leads to tyrannical children who "dethrone" the father.
Both realities are increasingly frequent and often undetected. So it is important that we consider what are the relationships with those in my family, so that we strengthen healthy ties and heal those that are not.
