Amanda Achtman: "With euthanasia, one doubts that one can be loved until the end".

Amanda Achtman is the founder of Dying to Meet Youa cultural and educational project that seeks to humanize the conversation about death and defend the dignity of all human life in the face of the advance of euthanasia in Canada and around the world. Through writing, short films and community meetings, Amanda proposes an alternative based on accompaniment, love and hope. In this interview, she shares the origin of her initiative - born as a personal blog during the legislative debate on the expansion of euthanasia - and reflects on how to restore our cultural health regarding our experiences of death and dying.

Amanda grew up in a Jewish-Catholic family, a dual heritage that deeply marked her worldview and her sensitivity to the dignity of human life. Her grandfather, a Polish Jew who managed to escape to Canada shortly before the outbreak of World War II, was one of the few survivors of a family almost annihilated by the Holocaust.

That family history and her early contact with suffering led her, at the age of 18, to participate in the "March of Remembrance and Hope," a trip to Germany and Poland together with Holocaust survivors. There, in front of the mausoleum of ashes at Majdanek and in St. Maximilian Kolbe's cell at Auschwitz, Amanda understood the depth of the value of each life and the responsibility to live with reverence and purpose. That experience of faith, memory and commitment prepared her for her current mission: to humanize the conversation about death and suffering through her project.

What motivated the creation of 'Dying to Meet You' and how has it evolved? How do you humanize the conversation about death and euthanasia?

-On January 1, 2021, I made it my New Year's resolution to blog about death every day for an entire year. At the time, I was working as an assistant to a member of the Canadian Parliament. One of the key bills at the time, Bill C-7, would extend euthanasia to people with disabilities or mental illness.

The Congressman put out a call to collect stories about how this extension of euthanasia to people with disabilities and mental illness would affect individuals and their loved ones. We received hundreds of emails in a single week. I was in charge of reading these emails carefully, and we decided to respond appropriately to each one. Reading these stories made me feel as if the parliamentary office had been transformed into a crisis center. I realized the extent of my fellow citizens' suffering and knew we had to offer something better than death.

Unfortunately, we were outnumbered in Parliament and the bill passed. Canada extended the so-called medical assistance in dying (MAID) to people who are not terminally ill.

I started writing a blog about death and the dying process as a personal project, actually as a catharsis of my own after the experience of receiving all those emails. I was sure that there had to be a more humane way to suffer and die than hastening death. So my blog at DyingToMeetYou.ca was an effort to address these issues of suffering, death, meaning and hope in a more humanized way.

At the time, I did not expect this blog to lead to anything more, but God often multiplies our modest offerings. After leaving Parliament to study in Rome for two years, I came back to Canada ready to expand Dying to Meet You into the broader cultural project it has become. Now, the project includes a combination of writing, lectures, short film production and organizing community events. The videos are a key means of giving voice to those most affected, but often underrepresented, in our public debates about euthanasia.

What challenges do you face in addressing controversial issues such as euthanasia, genetic discrimination and the rights of people with disabilities?

-The challenges I face are inherent in these practices themselves. Euthanasia and eugenics are dehumanizing because, through them, human beings are discarded, rejected and belittled.

Sometimes people think that euthanasia is not so bad, since it is the person himself who requests it. However, I think this is precisely what makes euthanasia so sad. The request for euthanasia betrays a lack of self-esteem and low self-worth, so that the person who is suffering or dying doubts that anyone can love them enough to give them the care, support and companionship they need to live well until they die.

Many people with disabilities tell me that they receive sympathetic messages from others, such as "I'd rather be dead than be you." Assuming that living with certain vulnerabilities makes life less worth living is dehumanizing to those currently living with those vulnerabilities. It also makes everyone feel more insecure by implying that life might become less worthwhile. Ultimately, as some Canadians with disabilities like to remind their fellow citizens, we are all "temporarily healthy."

I think one of the biggest challenges I face is helping those who have preconceived ideas about their autonomy and independence (ideas from which I am not immune either) to see the consequences of this worldview on others and even on their (our) future.

How do you think modern society can avoid making judgments about the value of life based on arbitrary or medicalized criteria?

-The most important remedy is encounter and presence. When we meet other people and spend time with them, we see that both they and we are capable of more than we expected. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks liked to say, "It is the people who are not like us that make us grow."

It is natural for parents to fear the unknown when their unborn child receives a difficult prenatal diagnosis, or for someone with dementia to fear how he and his family will cope. But what makes each and every one of these experiences bearable with nobility and meaning is love. We need examples all around us of how to face life's challenges with strength and in community.

That's why I like to organize events where community members give testimonies that touch on issues related to human dignity and frailty, such as adoption, disability, mental health, cancer, aging, companionship and end of life. The more opportunities we have to confront these experiences and make sense of them together in community, the more we humanize the culture.

What changes have you observed in the people who participate in 'Dying to Meet You' workshops and events?

-One of the most surprising things is that I've never had anyone who didn't want to talk to me about their experiences of suffering and death. Whether it's interviewing someone for a blog post, talking informally over coffee, or creating a short film about someone's story, people are very willing to open up about these topics. In fact, many seem very relieved to finally have the opportunity to talk about the things that really matter.

One of the most special events I organized earlier this spring was a Eucharistic procession through a nursing home in Regina, Saskatchewan. It was also an intergenerational encounter experience, as Grade 4 students participated in the procession through all four floors of the residence. A high school student carried the cross, the Grade 4 boys rang the bells (not too loud!) and the Grade 4 girls scattered flower petals (artificial!) as the Blessed Sacrament was carried and stopped at each resident's door. The residents stood at the door of their rooms waiting for Our Lord and bowed with such reverence and gratitude that Christ had come to them in this way.

It is difficult to describe what stirred in the souls of the children, the elderly and even the nursing home staff. But there is no doubt that everyone was deeply moved. This is the purpose of Dying to Meet YouWe can also carry out simple apostolic experiments such as this one, which surprise people, but which are totally ordinary treasures of our faith and which can help to bring about the "revolution of tenderness" of which Pope Francis often spoke.

What is your main message to young people and adults regarding respect for life in all its stages?

-I recently had the great joy of attending the Mass for the canonization of Saints Pier Giorgio Frassati and Carlo Acutis in St. Peter's Square in Rome. The entire homily is worth reading. In it, Pope Leo says: "Not even the illness that overtook them and cut short their young lives stopped them or prevented them from loving, offering themselves to God, blessing him and praying to him for themselves and for everyone." Whether we are young or old, our origin and our destiny is love.

In the same homily, Pope Leo exhorted us saying: "Dear friends, Saints Pier Giorgio Frassati and Carlo Acutis are an invitation to all of us, especially to the young, not to waste our lives, but to direct them upwards and turn them into masterpieces".

When we realize what a tremendous gift our lives are and that they do not belong to us, we do not waste them. We do not waste time, we do not shorten life. Our lives become masterpieces not because we finish them unscathed, but because we fight the good fight, finish the race and keep the faith (2 Tim. 4:7).

You speak of a "death without culture" instead of a culture of death. Can you explain this concept? Is there any hope of changing this culture? What can we "ordinary" Christians do?

-Yes, what I mean by "death without culture" is that we are losing the customs and rituals related to death and dying. We are losing the cultural customs related to dying well. For Catholics, it is important to reinforce catechesis on the last things (death, judgment, heaven and hell), the sacrament of the anointing of the sick, Catholic funeral rites and other such topics.

The Church has such a rich tradition that can help us experience these realities in a way that is appropriate to both our humanity and our hope for eternal life.

Christians can seek occasions to catechize on end-of-life issues in parishes, schools and nursing homes. Parishioners can initiate and develop ministries committed to bringing communion to the sick in their homes, in hospitals or in nursing homes. Those involved in funeral choirs or funeral luncheon ministries can invite young people to join as volunteers. Funerals themselves can be catechetical opportunities for clergy and laity to explain the meaning of symbols such as the burial cloth, paschal candle, holy water, flowers, etc. Making an annual retreat can be an occasion to reflect on the last things. Bringing generations together in schools and nursing homes can foster intergenerational solidarity and reflection on God's faithfulness over the centuries. There are endless ways to promote a culture of life that is truly cultural! I'd love to hear your ideas!