The priest's manner of confessing profoundly influences the penitent. Beyond the objective sacramental dimension (the sacrament acts ‘ex opere operato’, that is, it is efficacious by the very action of Christ), “the way the priest welcomes, listens to and accompanies the penitent can open or close the heart of the faithful to the experience of God's forgiveness,” says the study, entitled ‘Practical Guide for Confessors’, available free of charge online.
It seems important, therefore, to offer some pastoral and psychological keys -synthesized in these 9, but they could be fewer, or more- that can help the confessor to facilitate the encounter with the penitent who desires God's forgiveness in the sacrament of Reconciliation.
Ten research teams with interviews with priests
The research work is part of the framework of a project The project, led by Francis Fincham (Florida State University), seeks to understand the psychological dimension of the experience of divine forgiveness.
The project coordinates ten independent research teams, dozens of researchers from different universities (Harvard, Baylor University, Navarra) and from different continents (South America, Australia, Italy, USA and Spain).
One of these ten teams has focused on the experience of forgiveness in Catholics through confession, with psychologists, philosophers and theologians such as Martiño Rodríguez-González, María Calatrava or José María Pardo, who have led the study from the University of Navarra, María Pilar Martínez (Comillas Pontifical University), Juan de Dios Larrú (San Dámaso Ecclesiastical University) and Joan D.A. Juanola (CEU-Abat Oliba University).
In the research they interviewed twenty-five priests with a wide and diverse pastoral experience, coming from different countries and close to different ecclesial realities.
They are summarized below some of these psychological and pastoral keys of the confessor to facilitate the experience of God in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
1. Experience of the confessor as penitent
The priest does not present himself in the confessional only as a priest (minister of God), but also as a man. His own experience of weakness and reconciliation influences how he accompanies others. Many confessors agree that going to confession themselves helps them to be better ministers of mercy.
According to the priests, the guide points out, going to confession regularly allows them to discover which attitudes truly help the penitent and which can hinder the experience of mercy. They discover the value of an unconditional welcome, of a positive and encouraging attitude, and of a treatment that allows one to present oneself before God without the need to conceal the evil committed.
Some interviewees affirm that both frequent confession and spiritual accompaniment contribute to strengthening one's priestly vocation.
2. Sacred space, custody of anonymity
The sacrament of Reconciliation requires of the confessor a clear awareness that he or she is in a sacred space. Many priests describe this interior attitude with the biblical image: “Take off your shoes, the ground you walk on is sacred.
One of the essential aspects of this respect is the preservation of anonymity, experts add. When confession takes place in the confessional behind the grille, the confessor should not try to identify the penitent, and, if he recognizes him by voice, avoid making references to identification.
In the words of one interviewee: “When the person confesses through the confessional, it does not help to feel recognized. The confessional usually guarantees anonymity, and it is important that this is respected”.
In this regard, some confessors recommend favoring behind-the-grid confession in general and especially if the penitent is concerned about privacy.
Sacramental secrecy
In this same section we find “the guarantee of sacramental secrecy. The confidence that the confessor will keep absolute silence is an indispensable condition for many people to dare to confess their sins, especially when the priest is someone close to them. Respecting this aspect constitutes, in itself, a way of facilitating openness and the experience of forgiveness,” the guide explains.
Although the study does not mention it, in recent years some parliaments or states have passed laws requiring priests to violate the confidentiality of confessions in cases of child abuse.
However, the Apostolic Penitentiary of the Holy See has maintained that the “inviolable secrecy of Confession derives directly from revealed divine law and is rooted in the very nature of the Sacrament, to the point of not admitting any exception in the ecclesial sphere, much less in the civil sphere”.
4. Availability and time
Along with a deep appreciation of the ministry, another decisive aspect in favoring the experience of forgiveness is the availability of the confessor and the time he dedicates to the penitent. The experience of forgiveness in confession, the study stresses, is favored when the priest is truly accessible and available.
The first expression of this attitude is the observance of confession schedules. According to the priests interviewed, this conveys confidence and encourages approaching the sacrament.
“I always say: green light, proven effectiveness. A priest who is always there with a little green light, that gives people security. And I have seen it many times, that many people start going to confession with you because they know that you are always there”.
On the other hand, the penitent needs to perceive that the priest listens to him with full attention, without distractions or haste. As one interviewee expressed: “I can be in a hurry, but I put up with it. I'm there, and without being noticed, I don't look at the clock. The penitent must feel: I am here for you, I am listening to you with all my attention”.”
5. Warm welcome
The confessor's availability and time prepare the ground for a warm and unconditional welcome. Indeed, when the penitent feels received with closeness and respect, he can open his heart with trust and be ready to experience God's forgiveness, according to the interviewees.
“This welcoming attitude begins even before entering the confessional,” they say. “The priest who outside the confessional is close, friendly, smiling and available already awakens in the penitent an initial trust that facilitates openness at the moment of confession.”.
In a particular way, a kind word, a gesture of cordiality or an attentive greeting at the beginning of confession can create a climate of serenity that positively predisposes the penitent.
6. Attentive and active listening
These resources help to situate the encounter in the presence of God and to transmit that it is Christ himself who welcomes and forgives, the guide adds.
Fostering a welcoming atmosphere implies, above all, “an attentive and active listening”. Listening more than asking questions, speaking as much as necessary and avoiding distractions are attitudes that make the penitent feel recognized in his sincerity.
Some confessors point out that eye contact can be a support to generate closeness, although others consider that the grid protects intimacy and makes it easier for the penitent to open up; discerning which is more appropriate will depend on each situation.
A sense of humor to lighten the atmosphere, or a reference to the joy of God when he forgives can be excellent resources. Attitudes of coldness, rigidity, excessive distance or unnecessary questions “can make the penitent experience confession as an interrogation, instead of as an encounter of grace,” they warn.
Psychology Notes
The expert psychologists, in the framework of “transmitting welcome through empathic listening”, highlight the following tips: “Listen without interrupting, Validate the experience, Paraphrase, and Avoid labeling and blaming”, concepts that are developed in the guide.
7. Serenity of the confessor
The serenity of the confessor “is key so that the penitent can live the confession with confidence”. It is not enough to appear calm: “it is a matter of transmitting an inner peace that helps the person to feel secure and accompanied”. His tone of voice, gestures and attitude have an impact on the serenity of the confession.
To be able to offer this serenity, those interviewed indicated that “the confessor needs to rely on his prayer life”. Many priests stress the importance of invoking the Holy Spirit before and during confession, asking for light to know how to guide each person: “Give me light, Lord, that I may know how to help this person”.
This prayerful attitude helps to remain calm and to remember that it is Christ who is at work in the sacrament. Remembering God's mercy-“There is nothing you can present to God that He cannot forgive”-can calm anxiety and facilitate the person's openness.
8. Focus on God and his mercy.
“The transmission of God's mercy to the penitent constitutes the very essence of the sacrament of reconciliation.” The confessor has a decisive role in showing that God welcomes the penitent with unconditional love, enabling the person to experience forgiveness without feeling judged or guilty in a paralyzing way.
To achieve this, according to the priests consulted, it is helpful to “put the focus on God and his mercy rather than on the sins of the penitent.” It can be helpful to use examples from Scripture, such as Jesus' encounters with sinners, which show the superabundance of divine love.
It is also important to emphasize the actualization of friendship with Christ after confession: God forgives him and accepts him as he is.
Proposing small penances can reinforce this experience of mercy, preventing the person from feeling discouraged or overwhelmed, the guide notes.
Conveying mercy does not mean relativizing sin or minimizing its seriousness. Mercy is experienced as a force that welcomes, strengthens and encourages the penitent, helping him to recognize God's forgiveness and to reconcile with himself fully, the guide explains.
9. Explanations and tips
In certain situations, the confessor's words can complement the experience of forgiveness, offering clarity and guidance to the penitent. Although they are not the central element of confession, explanations and counsel can
The penitent may find them useful, especially when the penitent has little religious formation or needs a better understanding of God's goodness and mercy.
The use of Gospel passages, images and symbols can help to communicate divine mercy in a concrete way.
Psychology Notes
The observation made from empathy and accompaniment is “Invite reflection without judgment/reproach”. This increases the likelihood that the penitent will express himself with confidence and take responsibility for his actions, experts say.
In contrast, when the orientation is formulated from judgment or reproach, the person tends to feel attacked or humiliated, which leads to inner closure.
Psychology shows that, when faced with harsh criticism in states of vulnerability, the most common reaction is defensive or flight. These reactions are not conducive to learning or reconciliation, but rather reinforce feelings of shame and resistance.
Recognizing the difficulty and opening a space for reflection makes it easier for the penitent to discover paths of change from his or her own experience, the experts develop in the guide, with some examples.
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