The love scam

More and more cases are being heard of people being swindled by the «love scam», a fraud that takes advantage of the vulnerability of people of all classes, cultural levels and social status. Who doesn't want to be loved unconditionally?

The tricksters lure their victims with promises of eternal love and, once the spider's web of flattery has their victim in a sentimental grip, they argue that urgent problems have arisen that require a quick response, which awakens the unwary to act in solidarity and with little reasoning, who transfer exorbitant sums of money, after which the once devoted lover disappears without a trace. 

Romantic love and its deceptions

Christian anthropology offers us some light to avoid falling into this type of trap. In the first place, because it warns us against the greatest of the deceptions in which today's society forces us to believe: that of romantic love.

An idealized love, not real, that reduces it to a desire, to a pleasurable sensation, to a spark, emptying it of all its content because, without sacrifice for the beloved, one cannot truly love. The joke has tinges of magical thinking and many believe wholeheartedly in a predestination, in the existence of a cosmic better half waiting for them somewhere in the universe and accumulate failure after failure behind the hundreds flying through dating apps.

Eros and agape: dimensions of human love according to faith

Benedict XVI explained in «Deus Caritas est» the difference between «eros», the natural attraction that seeks the other and desires to unite in an initially selfish and possessive way, and «agape», which has a dimension of self-giving, of gratuitous donation, which requires willingness and implies sacrifice and service.

Romantic love remains in the superficiality of eros, depriving millions of couples of the sublimity of love as God intended it for man and woman. It is a love that is faithful (for life) and that distances from selfishness by promoting mutual service and openness to others by welcoming the children who are the fruit of this love. Today, these values are considered obsolete, which is quite logical because no one wants to suffer, and loving a husband or wife and children requires suffering, yes. And, as the elders say: «today no one can stand anything!. 

God as the measure of true love

Secondly, faith enlightens us in objectifying our desire to be loved. Whoever has known God knows that no human love can surpass him and that love cannot be found by jumping from lover to lover, because none will ever fill us. Human love is a mere reflection, a mediation, of true love, which is God. The love of a mother, the love of a husband or wife, the love of children, are wonderful, but imperfect, because as St. Augustine explained so well, «You have made us, Lord, for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you». The lack of affection is part of the human being, that is why it is necessary to orient it, from a very young age, to avoid falling into so many substitutes that are offered to us to quench that thirst, such as the romantic love that concerns us or addictions.

Lenten reflection: not to play with God's love

Faith helps us not to fall into the swindle of love, but also to see ourselves so often as vile swindlers. For we too, and this Lenten season is a good time to reflect on this, play with God's love for our own benefit. 

We promise him eternal love, we shower him with prayers and praises, we swear fidelity and, when the need presses us, we urge him to respond with generosity. And what happens when, after so much begging, after so much crying, he takes pity on us and grants us what we long for? Well, we take Villadiego's and, if I've seen you, I don't remember, until another occasion when we are in a hurry. The difference with the victims of the swindle is that He is not naive, He loves us in spite of our sins.

It is very wrong to play with someone's unconditional love, especially when that Someone would be capable of giving his or her life for us. That is why, in these 40 days of preparation for Easter, it can help us to recognize that these «con artists of love» are not only hiding behind false profiles on the Internet. deep web, We can be you and me every time we deny the presence of Jesus in each of our brothers and sisters in need, and every time we leave him alone on the way of the Cross, that universal sign of true Love, the one who would never cheat us.