Children with discipline, adults with will

We are normalizing toxic human relationships. Adults claiming rights by crushing rights. Marriages that break up due to immaturity and bad habits; addictions, suicides, murders, exacerbated violence. All this is the result of not having been trained to develop willpower, that powerful energy that leads us to practice good.  

Scenes in which we observe impulsive, disobedient, disrespectful and disrespectful children who demand immediacy in the fulfillment of their wishes are becoming more and more common. Parents receive diagnoses about their behavior and children with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Syndrome) or those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) traits multiply. They are given a verdict and medication pretending that they will be fine. In addition, a series of measures are usually recommended that are rarely carried out and we can see that the medication was in fact insufficient, it did not help. 

Why?

I believe that the culture that surrounds us invites us to obtain results effortlessly at home. It leads us to put effort outside the home: work is absorbing, we are overwhelmed by social commitments, the competition for success understood as money that allows us to consume more consumes us, social networks, screens that offer perfect virtual lives... There are many things that distract us from our sublime educational mission.

Parents of a child with the symptoms I have described will be recommended:

1. Calm. Yelling and impulsiveness can make the situation worse. Take your distance before responding to defiant behavior.
2. Clear limits. Rules are set and consistent and predictable consequences are applied.
3. Create a structured daily routine. Predictability reduces stress. Good hygiene habits, getting up early, eating a good breakfast, doing homework, helping with chores, little screen time, good table manners, etc. 
4. The child can express how he/she feels but aggressive or rude behavior will not be tolerated.. "I understand that you are angry but you need to respect everyone especially Mom."
5. Give clear and concise instruction and be firm..

These suggestions are really for everyone. The great evil of interpersonal relationships has at its base a common cause: willpower has not been developed. We are not building strong scaffolding that only comes with discipline. It is said that 80% of our problems are solved with discipline.

Albert Einstein said: there is a driving force more powerful than steam, electricity and atomic energy: the will. Willpower drives progress, it leads us to the desired good. It implies knowing how to wait for the reward. To raise it and to go for it. 

• I want a healthy body, I need to give it good nutrition, exercise and rest.  
•  I wish to be successful in my job, I will study, practice, make proposals, apply myself with devotion... 
• I long for a happy marriage, I will prepare myself for it, I will make the necessary changes, I will live the respect and the details of affection even if sometimes I lack the desire...

Willpower is forged and manifested in discipline, which is indispensable for the achievement of objectives; it is the bridge between goals and achievements, as Jim Rohn says.

Several authors who speak of the education of the will argue: 

Willpower education is a gradual process of learning and practice that helps develop self-control, self-discipline and the ability to achieve long-term goals, overcoming instant gratification. Like a muscle, the will is strengthened by constant exercise and weakened by lack of use.

If we have children who do not practice respect, order, responsibility, kindness, generosity, with or without a syndrome diagnosis, we need to discipline them and strengthen their will. Let's go for it! This is educating in values, modeling by example to make them virtuous people. Let this be our goal and they will become mature, stable and happy adults. 

God's word instructs us about discipline. Some of the verses that shed light on this subject are:

And you, fathers, do not make your children angry, but bring them up according to the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). For the Lord disciplines those whom he loves, as a father corrects his beloved son (Prov. 3:11-12).

Certainly, no discipline, at the time of receiving it, seems pleasant, but rather painful; nevertheless, afterwards it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.(Heb. 12:11).

We are distracted. Let's return to our essence and live what we were designed for: love. It takes effort, preparation and starting over as many times as it takes. And it's worth it!

All athletes train with great discipline. They do it for a crown that spoils, but we do it for a crown that lasts forever (1 Cor. 9:25).