How many times do I have to ask for forgiveness? 24th Sunday in Ordinary Time (A)

Saint Peter is one of the most relatable and endearing characters in the Gospels. He asks the questions that many of us would like to ask but may not dare to voice. Like the brave student who speaks on behalf of the whole class, Peter gives voice to our questions. 

Today’s readings focus on forgiveness: receiving God’s forgiveness and offering that same forgiveness to others. In today’s Gospel, Peter approaches Jesus and asks him, “Lord, if my brother offends me, how many times must I forgive him? Up to seven times?".

That’s our question, too, even though we often phrase it differently. We encounter someone we thought we had forgiven, and suddenly we discover that the wound is still there. The memory returns, the pain resurfaces, and we feel that we have to forgive again. Then we ask ourselves: How many times do I have to forgive before I can say that I’ve truly forgiven?

We may have to renew our decision to forgive the same person or the same painful situation many times. This does not mean that our previous forgiveness was false or insincere; it simply means that the heart often needs more time to catch up with the decision of the will.

The parable reveals to us the deepest reason for forgiving. We forgive because we have first been forgiven. God always takes the first step. His mercy precedes ours. Every act of Christian forgiveness is a response to the forgiveness we have already received.

Learning to ask for forgiveness is even more important than learning to forgive. Anyone who never acknowledges their own need for mercy will find it difficult to show mercy to others. On the other hand, those who frequently kneel before God, aware of the immense debt that has been forgiven, gradually learn to look upon others with the same compassion. Only those who know they have been forgiven can truly forgive.

That’s why we can also turn Peter’s question around: How many times do I have to ask for forgiveness? Up to seven times? Jesus“ answer applies here as well: “I'm not telling you to forgive seven times, but seventy times seven”, that is, without keeping score. We should never grow weary of asking for God’s mercy, because God never grows weary of forgiving us.