Our children don't need a comfortable childhood

There are simple scenes that teach us profound lessons. A few days ago, I witnessed one that moved me. An elderly woman, over eighty years old, sat down next to her eight-year-old grandson, who was completely absorbed in the screen of his iPad.

“What are you doing?” she asked tenderly.

—Just… killing time.

“So why don’t you go out and play with the other kids in the yard?”

"Oh, no! What a hassle!"

Grandma smiled. Instead of scolding him, she decided to talk to him. She asked him what laziness meant, and, little by little, she began a beautiful explanation about virtues. She told him about the deadly sins and the virtues that help overcome them. “Diligence is the antidote to sloth,” she told him with the serenity of someone who knows that educating is like sowing seeds for the future.

I then thought about what an enormous treasure our grandparents are. With patience, experience, and love, they can pass on what no screen will ever be able to teach.

The word diligence comes from Latin diligentia, which means care, attention, and dedication. It is related to the verb diligere: to choose carefully, to appreciate, to love. A diligent person does not merely do things; they do them well, with responsibility, perseverance, and enthusiasm. In the Christian tradition, this virtue is closely linked to charity, because those who love do not remain passive: they act, serve, and work for their own good and that of others.

Today, this virtue is particularly urgent.

We are experiencing a veritable epidemic of sedentary lifestyles among children. The World Health Organization warns that most children and adolescents worldwide do not meet the recommended 60 minutes of moderate- or vigorous-intensity physical activity per day for their age group. At the same time, screen time continues to increase and is often accompanied by frequent consumption of ultra-processed foods and sugary drinks. This combination contributes to overweight, obesity, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and other metabolic problems starting at increasingly younger ages. It is also associated with sleep difficulties, reduced attention span, symptoms of anxiety and depression, as well as lower academic performance.

But there is another, less visible—and perhaps more troubling—consequence: the loss of a taste for hard work.

The “click culture” offers instant gratification. Everything seems to be just a tap away. Without realizing it, some children begin to reject any activity that involves waiting, practicing, or persevering. Reading a book, learning to play an instrument, tidying up their room, helping out at home, or simply going for a walk seems like too much trouble to them.

That is why we as parents need to calmly reclaim our role as authority figures and guides. Parenting is not just about protecting our children or ensuring their comfort. Parenting is about building character. It is about teaching them that lasting happiness does not come from always doing whatever they want, but from developing habits that strengthen their willpower.

We need diligent children—children who step up to help before anyone asks them to; who discover the joy of serving; who experience the satisfaction of completing a difficult task; who play outdoors, run, jump, explore, interact with others, and learn to work as a team. An active child not only strengthens their muscles and heart; they also develop discipline, self-esteem, resilience, and social skills.

Perhaps the time has come for families to rediscover a genuine program for cultivating virtues. Rather than spending the day correcting isolated behaviors, we could set out to consciously cultivate the so-called seven cardinal virtues: humility, generosity, chastity, patience, temperance, charity, and diligence.

What are we doing to nurture the positive aspects of our children's personalities?

It would be wonderful to choose one virtue each month and practice it as a family. If our goal is to grow in generosity, we can organize visits to a nursing home, share food with those in need, or donate gently used clothing. If we want to strengthen our patience, we can commit to shouting less at home, learn to resolve conflicts without violence, and persevere together in activities that take time, such as learning music, playing a sport, or developing an artistic skill.

When children see their parents living out these virtues, they discover that they are not just theories, but a way of life.

And if we decide to focus on diligence this month, we can start with some very specific actions:

• Reasonably limit screen time.
• Remember that resting also means switching activities, not just staying still.
• Involve everyone in household chores, according to their age.
• Walk or ride a bike for short trips whenever possible.
• Be attentive to the needs of others and offer help without waiting for them to ask for it.
• Make sure to set aside some time each day for free play outdoors, physical activity, and socializing.
• Recognize and praise effort much more than results.

Our children don't need a comfortable childhood; they need a childhood that prepares them for life. Diligence doesn't rob them of joy; on the contrary, it allows them to discover the satisfaction of achieving goals, serving others, and becoming strong, responsible, and generous people.