Relationships between men and women today seem strained, distrustful. There is a feeling that difference is a problem, fidelity in relationships is impossible... It seems that to love is only to lose. So, we go back to Genesis, where human history begins by saying exactly the opposite.
We read in the first book of the Bible: “The Lord God said to himself, ‘It is not good that man should be alone...’” (Genesis 2:18). And he is not just describing an affective need. He is revealing something deeper: the very identity of the human being. Because man has been created by God “in His image, in the image of God created He Himself...” (Genesis 1:27). And that not only means that he is more “valuable” or “superior” to the rest of creation, it means that, if man wants to understand who he is, he must look to God. And who is God? God is Trinity. God is not solitude. Father, Son and Holy Spirit: a communion of Persons in love.
As taught by St. John Paul II, following the Gaudium et Spes n.22, Man can only be fully understood in the light of this “beginning,” that is, by looking at God's original plan for him. Therefore, after the original solitude, the original unity appears, not as something added, but as an expression of what man is from the beginning: a human being made for communion because God himself is communion.
Born to make a family
Communion is not a nice option. It is a vocation. We could put it this way: man is made to make a family.
This vocation is expressed in many ways: in friendship, in fraternity, in the life of the Church. But if we want to understand its origin, Genesis leads us to a first and decisive experience: "male and female he created them". (Genesis 1:27). Although it is not the only form of communion, it is an original form which, as St. John Paul II emphasizes, reveals something essential about the human person and his or her vocation to love. Therefore, all other forms of communion-each in its own way-participate in this logic: unity, complementarity and gift. What is this logic?
If we contemplate the Mystery of the Trinity, we discover something surprising: God is One..., but He is not uniform. The Father is Father. The Son is Son. The Holy Spirit is Holy Spirit. There is no confusion or interchange of “roles”. And for this reason, although they are One in Divinity, they are also distinct in their mode of being-relationship - being in communion - in order to be One through Love.
And this reveals a key truth for understanding human communion: true unity does not eliminate difference, it needs it. Without difference, there is no communion. There is only uniformity. That is why, in Genesis, the answer to loneliness is not “another one just like it”. But someone different, but similar: “This one is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh! Her name shall be “woman,” for she is from the male.” (Genesis 2, 23). As can be seen: equal in dignity, different in their way of being. This is what St. John Paul II called the original unity: the first experience of true communion between persons.
The complementarity that makes love possible
The difference between man and woman is not an accident. It is a necessity for true complementarity. A structure inscribed in the body itself that says: “you are not made to close in on yourself, you are made to accept love and give love.”.
Therefore, complementarity is not only biological. It is personal. It is the real possibility of self-giving. That is why Genesis adds: “the two shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2, 24). It is not confusion. It is not loss of identity. It is unity in difference. As contemplated in the Trinity: unity without confusion.
This logic is not just theory. It is seen concretely in the history of salvation: God wanted his Son to come into the world... in a family: Jesus is born of a mother and grows up with a father. Not because God could not give him all that love directly, but because human love has its own way of manifesting itself.
Maternal love is received from a woman. Paternal love is received from a man. And both are necessary for the human heart. Therefore, in this complementarity - Mary as mother, Joseph as putative father - Jesus experiences a true home: a real communion of persons, a family.
When the harmony of complementarity breaks down
It is true that, in spite of the beauty of all that has been said so far, we all know that this vision is not the one that triumphs most. Why? Because man's heart is wounded by sin. And, from there, his capacity to live in communion is also wounded.
It is true that communion is undoubtedly broken when the other ceases to be a gift and becomes an object. When the body is used instead of being a visible manifestation of love. But there is another, more silent - and perhaps more dangerous - way in which this harmony is also weakened: when difference ceases to be welcomed, when men and women cease to recognize each other in their own way of being, when the richness of difference is lost. Here we see how masculinity and femininity are concrete ways of being a person. And, in both, is inscribed a call to love in a fruitful way: to live a paternity and a maternity. We can all live it: in some, this vocation is also expressed biologically, in the family. In others, it is lived in a spiritual and supernatural way, as in the case of celibate life or, as St. John Paul II calls it, virginity for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven.
This capacity to welcome, to give, to generate life-in many ways-is part of the truth of human love. And when this richness is rejected, confused or blurred, the relationship loses some of its original clarity. Not because the person loses his or her dignity - which is never lost - but because he or she moves away, sometimes without realizing it, from that image of God that is inscribed on him or her. Then, even with the best intentions and lucubrations, a certain disorientation appears in the heart. With this, the difficulty to love, to give oneself, to be faithful, to build that communion. Because love needs truth. The truth of human love includes difference, reciprocity, possible and authentic complementarity. When this is taken care of, communion grows. When it is lost, the relationship becomes fragile.
A possible adventure
Yet the truth remains. Man and woman are not called to compete,
neither to mistrust nor to use each other. They are called to meet each other, to be faithful by the grace of the sacrament of marriage, to discover in each other not a limit, but a gift. Difference is not a war. It is an adventure. A call to love better, to go out of themselves, to build something that is only possible if they do it together, in communion.
Español 
English 
Italiano