Archbishop of Minnesota encourages looking at the faces of our family members

- Rebeca Omastiak (St. Paul, Minnesota), OSV News 

“The first thing is family life, families,» the Minnesota archbishop told ‘The Catholic Spirit,’ the archdiocesan newspaper, in an interview on May 26, 2016, on the occasion of his inauguration on May 13, ten years ago.

“To the extent that we can help our families or our married couples to see the life they are living as a vocational life, to the extent that we can get them to pray that their children can respond in the way God calls them to serve,” he said, “I think that will have a positive impact on vocations.”.

This was then the reflection of Archbishop Bernard A. Hebda in the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. Now, ten years after his investiture on the feast of Our Lady of Fatima, the archbishop has published his most recent pastoral letter, entitled “Only one thing is necessary”The program is aimed at families.

Happy marriages and families

The fact that the archbishop has talked about supporting families from the time of his inauguration to the publication of his latest pastoral letter demonstrates “that that is the archbishop's priority,” said Corey Manning, executive director of the archdiocese's Office of Discipleship and Evangelization.

“He really wants marriages and families to be filled with joy, that divine life and love,” Manning, a member of St. Michael Parish in Stillwater, told The Catholic Spirit. The archbishop's desire ‘hasn't changed in 10 years: to accompany and walk alongside’ faithful families.

The title of the letter is inspired by the Gospel of Luke, in which Jesus tells Martha that, in the midst of her distress, “there is only one thing necessary” (Lk 10:42). “Jesus himself is that one truth,” the archbishop wrote.

In a May 4 video entitled “Together on the Way,” Archbishop Hebda said that “Our Lord is the way through which Catholic families can be united in this life and in the life to come.”.

Example of saints Zélie and Louis Martin

Throughout the letter, the archbishop refers to the example of Saints Zélie and Louis Martin.parents of St. Therese of Lisieux, The Church's Doctor of the Church - to guide families.

“I have been constant in my prayers that you would intercede for the families of this archdiocese,” Archbishop Hebda wrote in the letter's preface.

Drawing on his own family experience, the archbishop wrote: “My siblings and I often talk about how much we owe our parents for their witness of faith and their willingness to sacrifice for the family. We will always be grateful for how they introduced us to the love of God and made sure we found a home in our Church.”

Archbishop Hebda wrote that he has seen many parents express this same fervor during the prayer and listening sessions leading up to the 2022 Archdiocesan Synod. “I heard again and again the love and concern that reside in the hearts of so many parents in this local Church, who desire nothing more than to lead their families to Jesus,” he wrote.

‘Parents, the first teachers of their children in the ways of faith’.’

A high number of votes during the 2022 Archdiocesan Synod indicated interest in the proposal that “parents be the first teachers of their children in the ways of faith.”.

Next steps included the formation of a High Level Commission, composed of clergy, religious, educators, parents and grandparents, to advise the archbishop on how to support parents.

In response to the Archdiocesan Synod and the archbishop's 2022 pastoral letter, “You Will Be My Witnesses,” one of the commission's recommendations was what eventually became the pastoral letter, “Only One Thing Is Necessary.” The archbishop wrote that the new letter is “an expression of encouragement to parents and all those who support them pastorally.”.

An uphill battle

Archbishop Hebda acknowledged what families have expressed to him as “what may seem like an uphill battle,” living in the midst of “a widespread societal decline in religious practice and church affiliation.”.

According to the 2023-24 Religious Landscape Study, released in 2025 by the Pew Research Center, Christians - who represent the largest share of religiously affiliated adults in the United States - “have been declining as a percentage of the U.S. adult population, while the share of people with no religious affiliation has been increasing.».

The proportion of Catholics in the U.S. adult population is declining.

Meanwhile, the share of Catholics in the U.S. adult population had also declined in recent years, according to Pew researchers. From 24 % in 2007 to 20 % in 2014 and 19 % in the 2023-24 study. However, as reported by Pew researchers, these declines appeared to have leveled off with the most recent data from the 2023-24 RLS study.

Along with changes in religious affiliation and practice, the archbishop noted the challenges facing modern couples, including that “(t)here is a significant decline in the number of couples seeking the Sacrament of Marriage or even choosing to marry civilly.”.

Trends

According to U.S. Census Bureau data released in 2025, 47 % of U.S. households in 2025 were made up of married couples, which the bureau called «a significant change» from 50 years ago, when 66 % were in 1975.

In his letter, the archbishop included the words of the late Pope Francis, according to which «today's frenetic pace, fears about the future, lack of job security and adequate social policies, and social models whose agenda is dictated by the pursuit of profit rather than concern for relationships» could be considered factors contributing to declining birth rates.

Decrease in the number of married couple households in the U.S.

Census data indicated that the proportion of U.S. households consisting of married couples with children under 18 had declined from 54% in 1975 to 37% in 2025.

The archbishop also acknowledged that many families face problems that are typical of the present age.

In 2023, the Surgeon General of the United States, Vivek Murthy, linked a “epidemic of loneliness and isolation”with decreased social connectedness during the COVID-19 pandemic, as well as an overall decrease in social participation. 

Also the decades-long decline in family size and marriage rates; declining trends in community participation, “including religious groups, clubs and unions”; and booming technologies, including “social networking, smartphones, virtual reality, remote work, artificial intelligence and assistive technologies,” that «have rapidly and dramatically changed the way we live, work, communicate and socialize.».

In his letter, Archbishop Hebda acknowledged both the “perennial challenges” and the “particular challenges of our time” experienced by modern Catholics. And he advocated taking time to engage in face-to-face dynamics.

Looking at the faces of family members

“What would our families and our society be like if we devoted just a fraction of what we spend on-screen to look at the faces of our relatives?” he wrote.

Archbishop Hebda encouraged families to “take heart,” citing, among other things, the words of St. John Paul II in his letter: “The future of humanity passes through the family2.

The archbishop suggested that families should embrace the “narrow way” that Jesus mentions in Matthew 7:13-14. “Surely, persevering on the narrow way requires the grace that flows from our deep friendship with Jesus Christ. Only within the context of that essential relationship can our other relationships be oriented toward our highest calling: eternal life with God.”.

Called to accompany families

“You, dear families, are made for eternal life,” he wrote. In the video on “Only One Thing Is Necessary,” Archbishop Hebda said that “each one of us, regardless of our state in life, is called to accompanying families".

“How do we know that families are so important? Our Lord chose the family as the means by which he entered our human experience,” he said, encouraging the faithful to read the letter and pray with it.

Culture of family life

Along with the publication of the pastoral letter, tools are offered for all the faithful to participate in the effort to “strengthen the culture of family life in the Church and in local communities.”.

The Archdiocesan Offices of Discipleship and Evangelization and the Catholic Education Mission developed a series of steps for the implementation of the pastoral letter.

Recommendations to parents and families, priests and consecrated persons

The steps offer recommendations to parents and families; clergy; parish staff; parish small groups; Catholic school personnel; seminarians; consecrated women and men; and members of Catholic ministries and apostolates; among others in the archdiocese, as they read and reflect on the letter.

Alison Dahlman, associate director of quality and educational excellence for the Office for the Mission of Catholic Education, highlighted parish small groups as an avenue for reading and reflecting on pastoral ministry.

“If every small group uses this as content for the year, what a unifying power it would have!” he said.

———————

– Rebecca Omastiak is the news editor of The Catholic Spirit, newspaper of the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. This article was originally published by The Catholic Spirit and distributed in partnership with OSV News.