It is neither necessary nor good for you to be alone

It seems that to become a priest, one must be trained to live in solitude. But is this really necessary? Could we train candidates precisely to understand that they are not alone?

Debunking the myth of isolation

It might seem that living celibacy requires having a feeling of loneliness, lack, lack of affection, and hopelessness that is intrinsic to the gift. If the one who is going to live the celibacy, If you believe this false premise, you may design and organize your life with an individualism that will fulfill your prophecy and, indeed, leave you alone.

If we consider that the priesthood is a calling to give oneself to others, shared with people with the same charism, and that it relies on receiving support from others, there should be no more loneliness than the healthy, original solitude, the setting for intimate communication with God, as he explains St. John of the Cross: “In solitude she lived / and in solitude she has already made her nest / and in solitude she guides / alone her beloved / also in solitude, wounded by love.”. 

The six pillars of intimacy

It might seem paradoxical that someone who claims to live with an undivided heart would have a heart full of people with whom they share intimacy. But a sign of maturity in living celibacy and chastity is the ability to live and share one's intimacy in different spheres:

–with oneselfThis facilitates reflection on the world and inner life, with unfiltered and undeceived self-awareness, conscious of one's greatness as a child of God and of one's insignificance in the face of the task with only one's own strength. Thus, one is connected to oneself, knows one's particular nature and needs, and makes oneself known accordingly;

–with GodHe opens himself to Him to feel His gaze, to know God's action and gift upon him, to allow himself to be transformed, to incorporate His logic and meaning, and to develop a particular complicity that only he can savor;

-with their spiritual companion: to whom he communicates how he relates to God, how he finds himself in his mission, with transparency and with the hope that the companion is a conscious companion, present in that relationship and not a mere functionary, and aware that God is the only vinedresser, and leaves freedom to both God and the one being accompanied and does not take the name of God in vain by attributing to himself the knowledge of the will of God;

-with his friends: with whom he shares his life, his journey, his desires, dreams, projects, sorrows, etc., and lets them share it with him, and they help and care for each other;

-with other priests: Because of the fundamental fact that he shares with them the experience of God, a spirit, a charism, an ideal, a mission, a filiation, a fraternity, joys, hopes, fears, and personal dreams, and knows, feels, and lives that they are a source of salvation, sustenance in the ordinary journey. With his community, he is in a safe place, where he is secure and finds spiritual support and human edification. There he can strengthen his sense of belonging, soothe loneliness, share personal questions, and live the shared passion for whatever life may bring, where he can regulate his emotions, where he can celebrate, beyond mere cordiality or official affection. He can allow other priests into his life and enter into theirs, recognize their needs, and attend first to those most in need. Fraternity will be lived as service and natural obedience to others, as an offering to others of the gift received;

-with his family: with whom he maintains ties. They are the root of his attachment and share his dreams and projects; he makes them part of his life.

The maturity of letting yourself be loved 

Thus, living with a heart full of love is possible, because one always loves in harmony with a third party, who is God; one loves others in God, loves God in them, and allows oneself to be loved by them with God. One loves without possessing and does not allow oneself to be possessed when one is loved. 

He will realize that not only is he not alone, but he shouldn't be, because his calling is to love and be loved. He will mature in the need to receive and be transformed; to care for and be cared for; to help and be helped; to serve and be served; to rely on those who love him to cultivate his life's purpose. He will experience God's action in a practical way through the mediation of others who love him, guide him, help him, welcome him, validate him, serve him, and so on. 

You will realize that you need others for fulfillment, without it necessarily being in an exclusive relationship, because your celibate state, ontologically speaking, is good as it is, in the image and likeness of God, imitating Christ. Let yourself be loved. It is not good for man to be alone.